Thursday, November 29, 2007

Voodoo Zombies (Ha! Suck it non-believers!)

Hello all!

Welcome to our next installment!
A few of you have contacted us via. email stating that, while high comedy, something like an undead uprising doesn't seem possible and could never happen.

To this we say:
Hello??! George Bush Jr. got elected for a second term!

Why would zombies rising to consume the living be any less possible??? Hell, we wouldn't blame any of you if you were waiting for the vampire overlords of the 27th dimension to come down in their crimson spaceships and make you the rulers of the South American, horny toads, after that one...


Now, you all know... Or at least, we HOPE you all know about the zombies that eat human flesh, don't feel pain and would prob'ly bring about the end of civilization as we know it, BUT!

Did you know that's not the only kind of zombie?
There's a second type. The Voodoo Zombie.
This zombie is basically a brain damaged human. They still feel pain. They need to rest, Sometimes depending on the amount of trauma suffered, they are still able to communicate of a basic level. Not long conversations, more like garbled single word answers or grunts.

Here's a link to an article with some of the info one of the pioneer researchers of the "Haitian Zombie Powder", Dr. Wade Davis, discovered.


Haitian Zombie Powder


IF you think this isn't on the up-and-up, access Google and search "Zombie Powder" for yourself!

Until next time, keep your Guinness cold, your crowbar handy, and if your tree-monkey pulls a "Lassie" wanting you to head for the hills, grab your bike and bug-out!



Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Hats off to Max (credit where credit is due...)

Alright!

This month, we've seen a marked decline in ninja activity here in the wilds of Ohio. Since we have a break, the three of us thought we'd give a big congrats and heart felt, thank you from the bottom of our hearts to the pioneer of the zombie awareness movement, the esteemed Mr. Max Brooks.

With the success of his ground breaking "The Zombie Survival Guide" , Max provided the world with the means to "organize before they rise!" Believe us, the pajama-wearing fairies are still seeking a way to bend the hordes of walking dead to their will attempting to augment their plans for global domination with the "perfect" killer. The problem is, even the sneakiest shadow-sissy doesn't understand just how dangerous even ONE zombie is. One becomes two, those two become ten and those ten become the beginning of the end for mankind.

If you haven't had a chance to get yourself a copy of "The Guide" yet, we have to ask...

WHY THE HELL NOT??!
What are you waiting for?
Someone to hold your hand and buy you one you lazy, poop-eating, ninja-suck up?
Maybe you'd like someone to powder your bum and make you a cookie while they're at it???
Get up off your lazy keester, walk it down to your local bookstore or get online and get yourself one, stupid!

Or don't. End up with your brain eaten. See if we care.
We plan on eating steak, drinking Guinness and making sweet, monkey nookie until we're all over 80 ourselves. And since we all have "The Guide" we're prepared to do it.

It's your choice.
Be ready, or be zombie-chow!

Until next time, keep you Guinness cold, your crow-bar handy and if your tree monkey heads for the hills...well, grab your 30 odd six and stay alert!